I love when Jason calls me his little trooper. Something about it just cracks me up. I do feel like a little soldier, marching along, each chemo cycle a small battle to win the war. I have everyone's cards and letters lined up on two shelves in the kitchen, like a steadfast army of positive thoughts and motivation. Thanks to all for joining the fight!!!
I'm happy to report that my 4th cycle of chemo treatments went well. All of the chemo infusions progressed smoothly, and the side effects were minimal. In fact, the entire week I was dreading today (when I normally start feeling like I have the flu), but I'm really not feeling too bad, thankfully. I feel a bit like I'm tip-toeing through the next few days, just waiting for the side effects to start. BUT, I'll just take it one day at a time and finish out cycle 4 on a positive attitude.
On May 24, I'll have my first CT scan since starting treatments. This is a moment that I both eagerly await and fear. That CT scan is either going to confirm my hopes and propel me through the final two cycles or force me to find a whole new kind of strength. I have no clue how I'm going to handle sitting in the doctor's office waiting for them to give me the radiologist's report. I keep imagining the best news possible to help keep my spirits up during treatment, but at the same time I don't want to set myself up for unrealistic expectations. It's a tough balance to find.
Until then, here's to finding the little trooper in all of us.
Shana, you may be physically sitting in the room alone (or with a family member) waiting for the radiologist's report - but I know the room will actually be crowded with the presence of everyone who knows and loves you. Our thoughts, love, and strength are with you always to help carry you through the day - May 24 and every day.
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