The Hair

For a woman, losing her hair can rank right up there with pain, nausea, and fatigue as one of the worst side effects of chemotherapy. Let’s face it, we live in a society where outward appearance matters. I’ll admit, there were times, on occasion, when I’d get frustrated if my hair didn’t fall the right way. But it’s funny how life works. Sometimes it takes a problem to know a problem. It’s all relative.

When I found out that hair loss would be guaranteed on my treatment program, I knew immediately that I wanted to donate my hair to another person rather than to the shower drain. There have been many times in my life when I considered donating my hair; I just never had the guts.

I had a second reason why I decided to shave my head. When you get a diagnosis of cancer, you feel very out of control. Believe me, I am a type-A personality who did everything possible NOT to get cancer. I eat organic fruits and vegetables, use sunscreen, limit my exposure to household cleaning agents, exercise, use natural deodorant, and the list goes on. So what do you do when you get that unexpected curve ball? Improvise. If chemotherapy was going to take my hair, I was going to do it first.

I invited all of my girlfriends in my neighborhood to my house on the evening of Thursday, March 1, the night before chemo was to begin. I figured I’d need the love and moral support of my friends, but I also felt like I might be less embarrassed when everyone saw me with no hair if they were part of the process. It was the best decision I could have made. They were happy and excited, and it really put me at ease. In fact, it felt a little like a party.

My hair, from scalp to tip, just met the donation length criteria, so we tied all of my hair into little ponytails and cut right at the scalp. My husband (who I can honestly say loves me for me) then shaved my head. And yes, I shaved his too.

I thought I would feel liberated and in control. Honestly, I didn’t. I felt something so much better: LOVED.

Everyone immediately began telling me how beautiful I looked. I knew all along that it was just hair, and that it would eventually grow back, but it felt good to hear the words of encouragement. If anyone reading this ever has to go through something similar, don’t do it alone. The love and support of your community will help more than you can possibly know.

So, after MANY requests, the pics! In my next post, I’ll talk a little about my first cycle of chemo.

Until then, here’s to women: we’re so much more than our hair!